New York State of Mind

Some folks like to get away,

Take a holiday from the neighborhood.

Hop a flight to Miami Beach or to Hollywood.

But I’m takin’ a Greyhound on the Hudson River line.

I’m in a New York state of mind.

New York State of Mind, an iconic song written by Billy Joel in 1976, keeps running through my head.  Coursing through my brain.  Flooding my soul.  Over and over and over again.

You see, it’s been a month today since I hopped a plane (wisely instead of a Greyhound) and flew from California to New York to visit my brother, Glenn, his wife, Missy and their four amazing children (now young adults), Erin, Ryan, Bizzy and Molly.

Back home for 3 weeks now, the memories, complemented by hundreds and hundreds of photos, point to how much of their lives I’ve missed living 3,000 miles away.  The sadness of that realization overwhelms me.

If memory serves me right, this is only the 4th visit I’ve made to their town in 22 years. And, the first visit was for their wedding, predating the birth of the kids.  Don’t get me wrong – I’ve seen them far more than 4 times, but it’s because of them that I have. Because they have made the effort to visit California numerous times in those 22 years.

Each time, it’s a painful good-bye.  The worst time was around 12 years ago.  My brother, an Air Force navigator, was stationed in the Middle East on his first major deployment involving a considerable length of time.  He asked me to fly out and spend time with his family, in hopes of keeping his wife’s mind occupied with something other than the fact that they were physically separated and that this separation involved significant risk.

So I flew out and spent a wonderful week or so with my nieces and nephew, who were pre-school and elementary school age at the time.  The night before leaving to return home, I wrote each of them a letter to be opened after I left.  As I wrote those letters, I broke down sobbing.  The pain of leaving these amazing, adorable, wonderful kids and my amazing, wonderful and beautiful sister-in-law was just to great.  My heart broke in a million pieces.

The next day at the airport, I was a sobbing wreck.  The kids were really too young to understand what I was feeling and looked at me with great concern and worry.  That was the first and last time I broke down.  I’ve toughened up since, knowing that it does none of us any good to be a blubbering, sobbing, soggy mess.

I can safely say that I understand how my brother feels when he is deployed.

So, guess what I doing while I’m writing this?  Crying.  A blubbering, sobbing, soggy mess with a box of Kleenex in front of me.  Using one after the other as I try to gain control again.

But, how do you gain control when your heart is breaking?

I think aunts have a unique position in the family unit.  Especially if the aunt is childless, which I am.  The family units, of which the aunt belongs, have just that – their individual family units.  They go about doing their “thing” as a family unit and aunts and other extended family members are an afterthought.

This is not a criticism; just a fact of life.

I live in the same county as 8 nieces and nephews and 9 great-nieces and nephews. And, I rarely get an opportunity to see them.  I live three hours away from 2 other nieces, 2 great-nieces and 1 great-nephew and I rarely get the see them.  I live 6 hours away from a nephew and his significant other and I rarely see them.

It works both ways.  Like I said above, I’ve only flown out to see my brother’s family 4 times.  That’s on me.  I haven’t made the effort.

We all lead busy lives and making time for other family outside of the nuclear family unit is difficult for all of us.  With the pressures of daily lives, jobs, school, sports, etc., extended family often takes a backseat.  And, times flashes by too quickly.

Here’s the conundrum:  do I make more of an effort, visit my family more often and suffer more when it’s time to leave and go home?  Or, suffer less because I visit less? I guess, while I’m sobbing, it’s not the best time to make that kind of decision.

But, here’s what I know – whenever I leave any of my wonderful nieces, nephews, great-nieces and great-nephews, my brother, sisters and sisters-in-law, brothers-in-law, cousins, aunts and uncles, I’ll forever equate this feeling of pain and emptiness as my “New York State of Mind” whether they live in New York, California or Arizona or elsewhere.

I’ve seen all the movie stars in their fancy cars and their limousines.

Been high in the Rockies under the evergreens.

I know what I’m needin’, and I don’t want to waste more time.

I’m in a New York state of mind.

Here are some of my favorite photos of my vacation in New York; my favorite “scenery”:

To all of my family everywhere, I love you and you mean everything to me.

Until Next Time,

 

Related Posts:

(other posts about family – 2 million posts about family {just kidding!} – you’d think they were important to me or somethin’ {grin})

• A Mother’s Gift
• A Picture is Worth 1,000 Words
• A Thousand Little Ways
• All You Need is Love
• Both Sides of Clouds
• Call of the Whinny:  Yet Another Story from the Farm
• Chicken Pie Diner
• Corvette Diner
• Cousins
• GuacaMolly
• Hamburger Factory
• High Flight
• “I say, I wonder what’s going to happen exciting today?” said Piglet
• In the Lap of Luxury
• It’s Your Birthday, We’re Gonna to Have a Good Time!
• Love Begins at Home
• Love Leaves a Memory
• Lost in LA
• Make Your Own Kind of Music
• Many a Winding Turn
• Much of Muchness
• Perspective:  December 8, 1941
• Pictures at an Exhibition
• Pony Rides, Playtime and Pumpkins
• Pinky Swear
• Requiem for My Father
• Running on Empty
• Samantha’s Table
• Scarecrows, Sunflowers and Face-painting:  Another Story from the Farm
• She Did
• Sister Mom
• Strike a Pose
• The First
• The Gift
• The Incubator
• The Pink Ruffled Skirt
• The Sunshine Gang
• The Train
• Ties That Bind
• We’re Not in Kansas Anymore