Confessions of the Incredible Shrinking Woman

Carole – December 2010 (down 90 pounds)

At first, I was going to title this blog series “Diary of a Fat Woman.”  After much reflection, I decided that name was too negative, and even depressing!  As I lose weight, I don’t want to be blogging under the name “Fat Woman”!  I want a name that has an upbeat and optimistic ring with encouraging prose resulting in a constructive outcome, projecting only positive energy!  And, borrowing this superhero-type name from a 1980’s comedy starring the very thin Lily Tomlin, seemed like a good idea to me {grin}; after all, aren’t we all superwomen?  So welcome to the first post of this monthly series:  Confessions of the Incredible Shrinking Woman.

I want this blog series to be a positive life affirmation of a common struggle for many.  Each blog post is a diary of my thoughts, tips, successes and failures, chronicling my journey.  My one sole purpose in sharing with our readers?  To make me accountable to me, knowing that you are reading it!  If you happen to get something out of this, then that’s an added bonus!

I intend to include my setbacks and failures.  I’ll choose to view these as “life lessons” and while there will inevitably be setbacks, I will attempt to show them in a positive light.  Life is full of twists and turns and so is dieting!

So, what’s my story?

I’ve struggled with my weight since I was 11-years-old.  When I was eleven, I went to live with my grandparents for three months.  This wasn’t because my parents had problems and needed someone to look after me.  It was because my grandparents lived on the West Coast and we lived in the South and my grandparents missed all of us terribly.  So, my parents and grandparents came up with this grand plan, a solution – send each of us children (there are four of us) to live with my grandparents for three months when we reached eleven years old.

Well, I’m the oldest, so I was first.  A year and a half later, my next oldest sister followed.  A year and a half after that, my youngest sister was scheduled to go, but now my grandparents felt they were too old to handle an eleven-year-old.  So my youngest sister was shipped off to our childless aunt (my mother’s twin), who also lived on the West Coast.  A year and a half after that, my baby brother went to stay with my aunt.

I think this short-term “living with grandparents” concept was reasonably sound.  I was the only one who developed a weight problem.  I think we all benefited from this life experience and we all certainly adored our grandparents, who loved us dearly and took impeccable care of us (as did my aunt of the youngest two).  For me, I think my challenges were many:

1. I was very shy and missed my siblings and had no one to play with.  In that short period of time, it was difficult to assimilate into a new neighborhood and new school.  While a few neighborhood children were kind and inclusive, it was a “temporary” situation, so the emotional investment wasn’t there.
2. Because I didn’t have many friends to play with, I spent hours and hours playing with my Barbie dolls.  My grandfather helped me construct a Barbie house, of sorts, out of cardboard boxes so that I had multiple rooms.  While I was away at sixth grade camp, he completed it, making it quite amazing with carpeting, wallpaper and furniture!  Unfortunately, when I left for home, I had to leave it behind – no room on the airplane for a multi-room Barbie house made of cardboard!
3. Because I spent hours and hours playing with my Barbie, I wasn’t outside doing what eleven-year-old children do:  running, skipping, jumping, playing ball, etc.
4. I had asthma.  I’m a “Baby Boomer”, so during my childhood the treatment options and drugs for asthma weren’t what they are today.  I was discouraged from active play for fear that I would have an asthma attack.
5. Because I wasn’t very active during this time, the high-fat food and treats my grandmother made for me packed on the weight and when I got off the airplane after arriving home, my mother was shocked!  At eleven-years-old, I weighed 106 pounds!

My mother immediately put me on a diet and I’ve struggled with my weight ever since.  Most of my adulthood, I have been overweight.  In my teens and twenties, I was “normal” weight, but definitely never skinny.  In my early thirties, I packed on a few pounds and was about 30 pounds overweight.  But, on my wedding day when I was 34, I weighed 200 pounds!  Until four years ago, I never weighed under 200 again!

So, what happened four years ago?  Well, I was 54-years-old and had been in full menopause for two years.  My doctor told me that once I was in full menopause, I should never, ever have even the tiniest speck of a menstrual period and if I did, I was to contact her immediately because something was wrong.

Well, I had a full-blown period on my 54th birthday (can you believe it? On my birthday?  What’s up with that?  The nerve!).  My birthday was on a weekend day (I think a Saturday), so I called her office first thing  Monday morning and they scheduled me for a pelvic ultrasound.

A few weeks later, I learned I had a mass in my uterus and my doctor referred me to a gynecologist specializing in cancer!  Cancer!  The “C” work rocked my world!  It took weeks before I could get in to see this doctor, so I was scared.  It was now mid-July and my appointment with him was five weeks out.

So, ever the pragmatist, I thought “what am I going to do if I have cancer?”  Well, I’m going to do everything in my power to beat it and the first step (prior to seeing this new doctor) was to lose weight.  So, I started with my weight reduction plan immediately.  Before I go into the details of the weight reduction plan that I followed, I want to tell you the rest of my story.

After arriving at the gynecologist’s office the third week in August, I met with him to discuss the pelvic ultra sound results.  He performed an exam and determined that because I had a tilted uterus, there was no easy way to get to the mass for a biopsy except surgically.  He advised me that I required a surgical procedure called a hysteroscopy.

Of course, scheduling was a problem and I didn’t have this surgery until late October, two months later.  It was an “out-patient” procedure so I went home that evening, but it’s a full surgical procedure requiring a surgical room in a hospital and general anesthesia.  I was discharged as scheduled and returned home (and back to work), waiting for the results.  Throughout this time, I’m continuing with my weight reduction plan and making good progress.

After the hysteroscopy, I had to wait two weeks for the results.  The results were given to me, in person, by this gynecologist in his office.  He had to look me in the eye and tell me that he had missed the target.  Rather than retrieving scrapings from the mass, he got them from the endometrial wall.  He didn’t know this until he received the results back from the lab.  Therefore, the biopsy was inconclusive!

He advised me that now the only way to biopsy this mass was a hysterectomy.  After a thorough discussion with this doctor, I elected to have a full hysterectomy instead of a partial one.  Again, there were scheduling issues to work out and I didn’t have surgery until the second week in December!  They had my results immediately upon my awakening from the anesthesia.  The mass was benign – no cancer!!!

By surgery day, I had lost 53 pounds.  So, while the medical scare was over, I decided that I should continue down this path and reach my goal.  After 27 months, I had lost 105 pounds and wanted to lose 40 more for a final goal weight of around 125 (I’m short).  But, that November, a family member’s serious health crisis had me focused only on that situation for six months and I got off track.  The pounds started to creep back on and the bad habits followed.

What did I do to lose 105 pounds the first time?  I adopted a modified “clean eating” type of plan.  Basically, I avoided processed foods as much as possible (in our society, unless you have a lot of time on your hands, “clean eating” is a near impossibility.  For example, I don’t make my own pasta, bread, cereals, etc. plus I do eat some canned goods).  And, I never counted calories.  I knew I had to find a plan that would work for me and counting calories, points, carbs, etc. didn’t work for me.  I’ve been on countless diets throughout my life and while any diet will work as long as you stick with it, the ones that require “counting” anything don’t work for me.

And, I started walking.  By the time I quit my diet and quit walking, I was walking 3 miles a day, 6 days a week.

So, since this was a hugely successful diet for me the first time, I’m adopting it again.  And, today is the first day.  Why did I pick today, a Thursday and the 27th day of the month?  Because it’s my birthday and 4 years have passed since that fateful day and I need to take control of my health, so what better day than your birthday?

If you need to drop a few pounds and just need a dieting buddy, I’m your girl.  Join me on this series, Confessions of the Incredible Shrinking Woman, by sharing your goals, your successes, your failures, your tips in the comments!

Tootles,