Any Way the Wind Blows – our 99-year-old farmhouse
Tomorrow marks the 5th anniversary of the loss of our home in the 2007 San Diego Witch Fire. And, tomorrow I’m launching a 19-part series (20, if you count this one) about this tumultuous time in our lives. While this series is running, Tiffany will be on hiatus spending much-needed down time to get caught up on various projects in her life. While she won’t be posting during this time, she won’t be sitting back taking a breather either. She’ll be working on the business of TS4T (Toot Sweet 4 Two) as well as working on other on-going areas of her “toot sweet” life.
It has taken me 5 years to write this story. Not because I’ve worked on it for 5 years, but because I haven’t had the emotional strength to tackle it. I have found that I have compartmentalized my life into two time periods: before the fire and after the fire. I think most people choose more positive events to compartmentalize their lives, such as before marriage and after marriage or before the birth of the first child and after the birth of the first child. Mine has become this fire. I am hopeful that sometime in my future, this fire will no longer matter in my life’s timeline.
Still, to this day, I’ll start sentences by compartmentalizing:
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“Before the fire, Charlie and I went to the movies every Saturday.”
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“Before the fire, Coco was an outdoor cat.”
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“Before the fire, I gardened almost every weekend.”
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“Before the fire, I worked on my scrapbooks and scrapbook projects.”
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“Before the fire, I liked to sew and had various projects underway.”
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“Since the fire, every windy day makes me nervous.”
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“Since the fire, I haven’t been able to go to the pumpkin patch.” (this will become clearer during the series)
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“Since the fire, we no longer raise crops on our land.”
I could go on-and-on. But, you get the picture. Also, guests will ask me questions that are answered with this response, “we lost it in the fire.” For example, when cooking, one of my relatives will say something like, “where are your cake pans?” And, since I haven’t (yet) replaced cake pans, the response is “we lost them in the fire.” Probably one of the most embarrassing things for one of my relatives was the time I ran into her in our local mall. At the time, there was a Tupperware kiosk in the mall and when I saw it, I stopped by and purchased a few replacements of my favorite items. New (and very large) stuff in hand, I ran into her in passing. She said, “Carole, don’t you have enough Tupperware?” And, I said “No, I don’t have any Tupperware. We lost it in the fire.” She was so embarrassed and I felt very badly because I love her dearly. But, the back story to that comment is that I was a Tupperware dealer 3 different times in my life and had amassed quite a large collection of their products and certainly wasn’t in any dire need of any more. Prior to the fire.
Me in our old farmhouse kitchen
The story continues on Page 2. Click on the link at the bottom of the post.
I remember the fires very distinctly. We had just come back from our honeymoon (the wedding that adorable dress was for) and had a day or two to spend in San Diego before driving home to LA. The smoke and ash was far to thick in Carmel Mountain, so the newly combined families got together at my parent’s house in Westwood. We even sat outside and enjoyed the weather. Just hours later, around 2 am, my parents were evacuating that same house we had just been celebrating. My mom even packed a car full of our wedding gifts to save, but as they drove out of the neighborhood seeing nearly every home engulfed in flames on the neighboring street, they decided to turn back and leave a car to stay together. Thanks to the SD Firefighters, their home was saved, but we spent days not knowing the outcome.
Hi, Elizabeth: yes, indeed, it was your wedding for which I made the Princess P’s dress! I can’t even imagine how that felt, seeing all those homes in flames as you are evacuating the neighborhood. I completely understand your parents’ need to “stay together.” And, yes, many thanks to the thousands of firefighters and military personnel who were here fighting these fires with no reprieve for 10 solid days. I know there are thousands of families in San Diego County who are grateful to them to this day. Thanks for sharing your story.
I know this has been hard for you to write. I hope it has helped in the healing process. Love you! Kathy
Thanks, Kathy. As you know, our new house is quite fabulous. And, I love this new house. But, I loved the old house maybe more. It represents a lifetime for Charlie, it’s where we moved when we returned from our honeymoon, it’s where we had Easter egg hunts for our nieces and nephews, it’s where were went on long walks through corn fields and watermelon patches, it’s where we went on “treasure” hunts with nieces and nephews, and many “firsts” occurred there: our first Christmas tree, our first dog, our first Thanksgiving for family, our first party as a married couple – the list is long. It had quirks and “hidy holes”, no heat or air-conditioning, and maybe even a ghost (according to Charlie’s youngest brother, who lived their as a very small child with a big imagination). But, it was our home. And, I miss it to this day.
What a beautiful place, and I’m so sorry it’s lost, along with so much of your things within it.
I had friends who lost homes in the 2003 and the 2007 fires, and it’s a heartrending and breaking thing.
I’m glad you are beyond it, and stronger, and writing to out the incredible emotion you still must feel.
Thanks, Deb. It’s been very cathartic to write this series, but I’m still surprised that I cry, even 5 years later. Thanks for reading our blog.
I can’t wait for your next post! I live in North County… we were evacuated for days, and our house was dirty but still standing! I can’t believe it’s been 5 years. I remember it like it was yesterday…
Heather: thanks for your comments. It does seem like yesterday, doesn’t it? Thanks, too, for following the series – your support means so much to me. And, I love your site, too, and look forward to spending time there and finding some good deals!
We live in San Diego and this brings chilling memories for me. Although we evacuated our area for 3 days, we were lucky and didn’t lose our house. My 2nd child’s preschool teacher did and we rallied around her and donated furniture, gift cards, whatever we could to help her out. Every October I get a little nervous when the weather turns hot. I’m thankful for this uncommon soggy October weekend. I will definitely be reading your series.
Thanks so much, Laura, for your comments. There are so many “fire stories” in our county. Every citizen of this county was impacted in some way (and I believe we have at least 2,000,000 people in our county?). And, the ones that didn’t have losses, such as yourself, reached out in multiple ways to so many people offering support on so many levels – just like you and your family. A very heartfelt “thank you” from me for doing what you did. You will probably never fully understand the impact you had on your child’s preschool teacher’s life and your generous spirit, I’m sure, lifted her through some very dark moments.
P.S. I love your site and look forward to exploring it more!
Wow, Carole. I am already crying and the series hasn’t even really started yet. I will be keeping up with your posts and sending you my love during this time. I am proud of you for finding the strength to write about that devastating loss. Love and light.
Mary: Many thanks for following this series. Your support means the world to me. As a San Diego girl, you too know and understand the full impact of that time in all of ours lives. Thank for your support, love and mentorship. It means so much to both Tiffany and me.